Happy Anniversary

Seventeen years ago I was 19 and getting ready for my wedding. I only have spotty memories, supported by photos (pre-digital, sorry, will try to scan but I wouldn't hold your breath). I do remember the night before my wedding one of my rings from a previous boyfriend lost the diamond, probably a sign I should stop wearing it (I did). I know my mom was working on my wedding dress and Kristen's flower girl dress until the last minute, but they were beautiful. Our wedding was small probably less than 50 people, but they were all we needed, our parents, my sister, his brother, grandparents from both sides, neighbors and friends. We had a small reception afterwards with cake and we opened our presents. We knew that Matt's parents were sending us to Hawaii for our honeymoon but getting the tickets and some cash for the trip was definately exciting. After we changed clothes we drove off in our freshly decorated car and went for a bite to eat ( I think I was too nervous to eat before but was starving by then). We didn't leave until the next morning, it was a wonderful trip. Kristen stayed with the grandmas, maybe if she would have gone with us she wouldn't have felt the desire to go so soon after she turned 18? Oh well, here's hoping for another 17 great years.

Relax

The past week has been quite a challenge as far as our son goes. He has been really "off". I am not sure what the problem is but we are going to go camping for a few days and I hope it will help. Maybe some fresh air, and family time will do us all some good. Technically dh will be working (along with whoever he can get to go with him) but at least we will be in the mountains and the temperature won't be as bad as here (we have been in the 100's yuck).

I finally finished the small girls outfits (the button holes were giving me problems, they were my first) I will post pics when we get back. Better get the car loaded!

My Grandma

Today Grandma had yet another back surgery. She didn't tell me about it (probably wouldn't really want me to share it on the internet but she doesn't have a computer...) she has always been kind of private about stuff like that, more just so people don't worry. Well, got a call from dad and she did fine. Hopefully she will have a speedy recovery. I was terribly worried, I hate not being closer to my family sometimes, I feel like I am missing out on so much. I still have lots of family there and know that someday they will be gone, will I regret living so far away? Probably.
She doesn't like to have her picture taken, that is why she looks so happy. This was 2 years ago at her 70th birthday party, Julia (4 weeks old) and I flew out to surprise her.

5 years

This morning I stumbled across a blog of a lady who had a stillborn baby at 37 weeks. Of course as a mom I was moved and saddened by this. Then my husband said today is Dad's birthday. Then my memory hit me hard, it was also Luke's due date. He would have been 5. I often think how different our lives would have been if I hadn't miscarried at 15 weeks, if he had made it to full term, if Logan had a brother, so close to his age to play with, if we were celebrating his birthday today. Of course I realize that we wouldn't have our two beautiful daughters and am grateful for the life we have but sometimes you just wonder.
The strange thing about having a miscarriage (or two) is that you discover it is really a common thing. Most of my friends have had at least one, many have had multiple. My most vivid memories of finding out that I was miscarrying was at that ultrasound when the Dr said there was no heartbeat, then he assured me it was ok to cry, I was trying to hold it in, worried about others comfort. Knowing my daughter and son were out in the hall, worried about telling them, worried about telling my sister who was also pregnant, worried about being able to move on. We didn't plan on having Luke, as a matter a fact it was kind of hard to deal with at first, but as time went on we were getting excited. The age difference between Logan and his sisters was 8 & 12 years, so it would be great for him to have a sibling closer in age, and how crazy to have 4 kids?

After I delivered him, in our bedroom, I remember looking at how perfect he was, 10 fingers, 10 toes, everything so unbelievable tiny. The next day I was taking a shower and I remember leaning against the wall crying so hard I couldn't catch my breath wondering if I was to get pregnant again right away would all this pain go away? Then, what if it happened again? (It did) How would I survive? (I have)

It has been over 5 years now, and although I have had two healthy daughters since then I still think of our little boy that didn't make it and wonder what he would be like today. I miss you sweet one.

Dishes...

So, I know I am not the only person in this world without a dishwasher, it isn't even the first time in my life that we have lived without one. The house we rented before we built this one didn't have one and we didn't even notice until we were moving in, the house before that had two. Anyway, our dishwasher broke last March while we were out of town (the 5 kids were here dirtying dishes up). For a while I didn't mind doing dishes by hand, as long as I kept up with them it wasn't too bad. The last three days I have done all the dishes except the pans so everyday I think I will do ALL of them today, then I don't. I have looked around at what I want to replace it with and they are just not in the budget right now ( I have been told I have champagne tastes blah blah blah). I considered buying a used one just for now but dh said why bother (he isn't doing as many dishes as I am apparently). So, there is a sink full of dishes and that is probably where I will be while the kids are at a sleepover, what a waste. Really need a maid. Wanna live here.
At least I have my cute apron to wear. My first "real" sewing project as modeled by my daughter. I was happy with the results.

Still around

I notice on a lot of the blogs I read when there has been a absence or sporadic postings it is usually due to a move or a pregnancy. We have had neither (Thank God!). We are however in the middle of summer, meaning all the kids are home (making messes), and it is near 100 degrees most days. Fortunately every evening it cools off enough before bed to be outside, in the garden, riding bikes etc. I love Colorado nights, always cool enough to open the windows.

I have been working on my sewing lately, made a crayon holder, and smock for a friends birthday, I like the way they turned out, will have to make one for my kids.
Sorry for the crappy photos, still haven't got my dream camera. Speaking of dreams they released the info on (one of) my dream cars.I realize that a 4 seater car isn't very practical, but surely the trunk is big enough right? For the groceries of course. This is the only color that works for me, gotta love the orange and black.

Don't want to over do it on my 1st time back (and there are some things that need to be done around here).

No apologies..

Every time I fail to blog for a while I start off with saying how sorry I am that I have been gone, not this time. I blog constantly, in my head, while doing dishes, I just never make it to my computer. Lots has happened since Feb, we have had 5 birthdays, 3 trips, countless play dates, I will try and catch up soon but for now, my first Flickr meme. My friend decided we needed to work on this today (because between us we had nothing better to do).



The Questions:

1. What is your first name? Michelle
2. What is your favorite food? We are finally getting a Chipotle here, I am so excited.
3. What high school did you go to? I went to Margaret Hudson, it was a "special" school for pregnant teens :)
4. What is your favorite color? Cornflower Blue, isn't it pretty?
5. Who is your celebrity crush? I have a thing for Matthews apparently
6. Favorite drink? I know everyone thought it was Diet Coke but I am trying to quit again.
7. Dream vacation? Absolutely Lord Howe Island, I am hoping we can go for our 20th anniversary, or at least by our 50th.
8. Favorite dessert? I love cake.
9. What you want to be when you grow up? I don't really want to be Martha Stewart but I would love to have house as clean as hers and as nicely decorated.
10. What do you love most in life? Family of course.
11. One Word to describe you. Adaptable is what we came up with and since I love zebras I had to choose this image.
12. Your flickr name. Andfornoreason.

We have the Pox

Well, sometimes friends bring you fun stuff. We weren't sure we were ready for this adventure but it was decided for us and we have Chicken pox. Now, I am glad we have it, so far not too bad. Only Logan and Julia have spots right now, Naomi missed this time. Logan was crabby, tired and feverish the first day but Julia hasn't really been too bad. I think they have a pretty mild case.

Yesterday Julia discovered a mid evil form of bondage (aka the bra) . She was quiet sure she was doing it right. I never thought I would post a picture of my bra on my blog but she is so cute in it so here ya go.Sleep has been kind of rare around here, and not because of the pox. A few weeks ago we lost our little Rosie to a coyote. I will spare the details but it has been kind of traumatic. I just wanted to say that although I complained (daily) about her I miss her like crazy.

Bye sweet girl, we loved you!

Some catching up...

I finally brought my camera in out of the cold (I have been lusting after a new one and really neglected my photography, a new one will not happen for a long time so I must appreciate the one I have). There are a few pictures on it I wanted to share. The first is one of our new stocking hanger, since we have no fireplace and the one like this at Pottery Barn was out of my budget my dh made one. I really liked the way it turned out. We have a matching one if anyone is interested. All of the stockings, except the plain red one, were made over the years by my mom. We do only have 5 kids, but this year since dd is technically engaged, we added one for her boyfriend. We also went to Chuck E Cheese last month for a friend's birthday, the kids had a great time. The weather was really snowy so it was a great way for the kids to burn some energy.

Ashy the beautiful birthday girl.

Julia really enjoyed all the rides. Between us we had 8 little ones (under age 7) and manged to not lose any of them, a pretty good day.

We are in the middle of basketball season, actually there are only 3 games left, here is an image of the 3 little ones watching intently. I think that was the only second they were all watching. As a general rule I don't really like taking them because I don't get to watch any of the game but I like them to see their sister play so we compromise and take them to some of the games. Miranda decided that she prefered to play on JV so she talked to the coach and gave up Varsity. At her game on Wed she scored 1/2 the points for the team! (granted there were only 8 points total...) They did lose but she had a good time and that is what is important.

Today I brought out some new socks (highlight of the day I might add and on a great sale from Old Navy). They are quite cute, you probably can't tell but they are so very soft. The girls really liked them. We also went back to cloth diapers, I am making every effort in 2008 to be more frugal, and create less waste.
I love when the girls wear dresses but my second favorite is when they both wear overalls. I just like the simplicity of them.

Logan learned to tie his shoes recently. Naomi decided she too should know how. Never mind that she is 3 years younger. So determined that she has just about mastered it. She needs a tiny bit of guidance with the last step. I was thinking the other day that Julia is the age Naomi was when she was born, still a baby. She has grown up a little faster than I would have liked but is a good big sister.

I think if I ever find these shoes in my size I will have to buy them (the socks too).

Last Saturday, Julia had a run in with the kitchen table. I think it is healing nicely, you get one guess what she was doing that got her to hold still enough for this photo. Have a great weekend!

I don't know where time goes! If I miss one day on the blog then it turns into 2, then a whole week has gone by. Well, I will just jump back in.
1. I am grateful that dd and her boyfriend made it down for the night on Friday ( the normal <2 hour trip took 5 + due to weather and traffic)
2. I am grateful that my back is feeling better and I have a Chiro appointment today.
3. I am grateful that my dd first basketball game went well even thought they lost.
4. I am grateful that my fil called and told dh that he is taking him and his brother on a fishing trip this summer in AK. ( I love halibut and it is wonderful when it is fresh)
5. I am grateful that I get to go scrapbooking this weekend. (ds is not allowed in the hammock so I WILL get to go)

grateful day : : 8

I know I was going to try not to repeat myself but truly I could type one thing 5 times and be no less grateful than the first time I wrote it. DD slept from 8pm to 5 am last night!!!!!! That is it, I am 5 times grateful for the first nights sleep I have had in about 6 years. Now, she did wake up and cry out a couple of times but never more than a few little cries then went back to sleep, didn't even wake her sister right next to her. I don't even dream that it will happen again tonight, I have thought maybe it was the blueberries she ate as a bed time snack? We will try that again although I am sure they had nothing to do with it. I could easily become superstitious and try to replicate all that is done on a night that she sleeps peacefully.

grateful day : : 7

I was thinking last night as I was putting the kids to bed (I do my best thinking then, not in the shower like most people since the kids are usually staring at me through the glass) anyway, my thought was that I am grateful that the only lasting effects of ds little accident seems to be that he will come up and hug me for no reason, then run off just as quick. I love it! Well, that was one, here's the rest.
2. I am grateful that I don't have to work outside in this wind!
3. I am grateful that my sister got a new job after being laid off, one even better than before! (good luck on your first day Beck)
4. I am grateful that my feet are warm.
5. I am grateful that I am reasonably caught up on laundry **as long as there isn't more than 3-4 loads to be done at any given time I consider that caught up ;)**

Have a great Hump Day!

grateful day : : 6

Yes, I know there was no grateful day 5, believe me it was better not to post yesterday, it would have been the opposite of grateful and since it is all about being positive, I just skipped it.
Anyway, there is lots going on most of which I will not post on the internet, and last night in the middle of the night (thanks to youngest dd I was up to ponder) I came to the conclusion that I really just needed to give it over to God and not worry so much. So todays list ...
1. I am grateful that we have a full pantry and fridge to eat out of for the next week.
2. I am grateful that my dd made the basketball team, Varsity no less.
3. I am grateful that I didn't get too cranky with the kids even though I was very tired today.
4. I am grateful that my dh heard my needs last night and took over the littlest dd around 3 am so I got to sleep for a while.
5. I am grateful that I took the time to enjoy the amazing Colorado sky on a moonless night.
6. I am grateful that we got propane delivered so I can take a nice hot bath without worrying that I might be using up the last of the gas.

That last one was a bonus!

grateful day : : 4

So yesterday my pictures were not delivered and I did not get to go crop (2/5 of my gratefuls for yesterday). I was planning on going anyway, I really am so far behind that I have plenty to do but was very disappointed since I envisioned finishing last years album. Before I left our ds was playing in the hammock in the basement and the rope broke, he hit his head on the concrete floor. He got a hug and didn't want me to check his head, seemed ok. I left a little bit latter. While I was in the check out at the store dh called and said ds couldn't see . I raced back and met them on the road and we went to the er. On the way I sat in the back with ds, he kept asking "when will I see again?" and he would stare right at me and ask where I was. He started having speech problems on the way too. He kept saying he wished this was a dreak (I am sure he was trying to say dream and couldn't make the word) And then he asked me when he was going to die. That was enough to throw me over the edge.
We got to the hospital and they got him back for a ct right away which showed nothing out of the ordinary. The hooked him up to a monitor and let him sleep for a few minutes then asked him about our dogs, he said we didn't have any (we have always had at least 2 dogs). I asked him his sisters names and he couldn't tell me. He slept a little more and when he woke up his vision returned and he could name his sisters and dogs. The original dr wanted him to stay overnight, the on call dr for our dr didn't see any reason to expose him to all the sickness in the peds ward and figured if anything went wrong we could have him back with in 30 minutes, we agreed. So we took him home. He slept for a while and then we all watched Superman. He slept with us last night, I checked his breathing every few minutes. It is hard to believe but I think he is just fine.
So what am I grateful for on the beautiful Sunday?
1. That my handsome son can see.
2. That he remembers his family.
3. That he is excited about his friends birthday party (it is next door so I THINK I can let him go).
4. That this has made me more aware of the delicate balance in life.
5. I am even grateful that he was being a pain in the butt already this morning.

grateful day : : 3

1. I am grateful that I get to go scrapbook with my friends for 7 hours. ( WOO HOO!)
2. I am grateful that I can look out the window and see the beautiful mountains.
3. I am grateful that our youngest dd slept better last night (by better of course I mean she only woke up a few times instead of 10)
4. I am grateful that the post office WILL deliver my pictures today so I can finish last years album (that is the true power of positive thinking, if they don't come I might have a few neg things to say)
5. I am grateful that breakfast is ready (seems like I always include a food one huh? dh made spinach, mushroom and pepperjack cheese omelets, yummy!)

grateful day : : 2

1. That my oldest dd now lives only 2 hours.
2. That is was sunny today.
3. That my dh made chili for dinner (warm bowl on a cold day what could be better?).
4. That there are so many good books to read.
5. Now for a totally honest one....I am grateful that bedtime is not far away ;)

Power of Positive Thinking

This morning on the Today show there was someone (Dr or such I would imagine) who wrote a book called Happy for no Reason. One of the things she suggested is to keep a journal and write 5 things you are grateful for everyday. I am going to try this for the next month. Here goes...
1. A warm house to live in.
2. Healthy kids (that could count as all 5 right there)
3. A wonderful husband.
4. Food to eat.
5. The hat my secret sister knitted me (I love it!)

Okay, I will try not to repeat anything over the next month also. Here's to only happy thoughts!

Not quite 3 months...

So apparently I suck at this blogging thing. I would love to say my New Years Resolution is to post everyday and update everyone on the lives of my children and the progress in the basement etc... However I didn't even make a list of resolutions. I think I just, in general, want to try and be more like the person I want to be. A more attentive mother, a better house keeper (yikes!), better with the budget, ummm, create a budget. Just the basics. I am not even going to mention losing weight because frankly that is a given. So, what have we been up to since October, not much. Older dd did go back to her old school and her grades are wonderful. She has also had 2 promotions at CAP since then. Her squadron participated in the Wreaths Across America in December and even made it into the local paper.
Of course it was cold and windy during the ceremony but it was still beautiful. It is amazing to see all of the men and women who have protected our freedom but have lost their lives. It would be great if next year they were able to get more than just 7 wreaths, I would love to see the whole cemetery covered in green.

Well, our oldest dd has moved back from Hawaii, YEAH! So her and her boyfriend were here for Christmas. It was really nice to have all the kids home for Christmas morning. From here on every year that it happens I realize it could be the last. I am sure that someday they will have their own families and not be here to wake us up early to open their presents. And we might get to sleep in...wait, that wasn't where I was going with that was it? I can not remember the last time my sister and I were both with our mom for Christmas.

We also have put our ds in Kindergarten. He seems to be enjoying it. It is quiet around here in the mornings while he is gone but the kids sure make up for it in the afternoon. We will just have to take it one year at a time. I am not going to go back and read all my posts with homeschooling affirmations in them as I will then just feel bad, I think that for now this is the right decision.

The two littlest girls just enjoy playing with their babies. I love to hear them play, the youngest calls her older sister "Maymi", it is the sweetest thing to hear. Not sure her sister agrees. When it is just the two of them they play really well but as soon as brother comes home she ditches the "baby" to play with the big boys.

Okay, a little basement progress note: not much going on. The electrical is almost complete. We ran into some snags on plumbing and dh has had to remove some concrete from the basement (the dust is horrible). It would seem that before there was any framing two of the pipes were broke off (ds ran into one with his bike, not sure about the other one) And since we decided to put the other washer and dryer down there we needed to make some adjustments to the mudroom. So it was all framed and now it is not, had to remove some to get to the concrete. Dh informed me yesterday that he is going to have to cut even more concrete.... one step forward two steps back, will it ever be done?

Usually I am a big fan of winter, however this year I am already over it and we have barely gotten started. I have just been so cold. I was at Hobby Lobby the other day and they have so much garden stuff out already, little fairies and stone statues. I am excited about having a garden this year (I am always excited but it never seems to get done). We got our Burpee catalog too, so we have been creating our wish list. We will just have to see if 2008 is the year it gets done.

Last, here are a few pictures from the last couple of months. Hope everyone has a great start to their new year!